I DON’T WANT TO BE A SHARK SAMMICH! AND HOW TO AVOID SMALLER WATER FOE.

shark swim realitytc

Pool, ocean, lake or river: Oh what creepy things might lurk below! Even though I know I’m far more likely to come down with Swimmer’s Itch, E. Coli or the always yummy Giardiathan to experience any sort of encounter with a large aquatic dweller, I can’t quite rid myself of the uneasy feeling that comes with a ‘bottomless’ body of water. That’s why you’ll mostly find me poolside—with floaties—my toes not touching any weeds, mud or clams—thank you ma’am. Although 

SharkBite_byRealityTCPhotos by ©RealityTC®


Sharknado has solidified its place in more recent shark pop culture—and Discovery Channel’s Shark Week has certainly given us all an entertaining and educational look at sharks—I owe it all to the movie Jaws which, cheesy effects and all, hardwired a fear of sharks into my brain.

Here’s the gory payoff scene that kept me from fully enjoying the admittedly not infested shark waters of Minnesota for an entire summer in my youth.

Since then, I’d like to think I’ve made peace with the sharks—if only in decor. This awesome ode to Jaws hangs over the bar in my house: Mancave approved.

sharkhead

Even though it’s a pretty reasonable assumption that few will be attacked by a shark while taking an ocean swim—especially if you look at these statistics—getting into a shark cage or swimming with the great whites is not real high on my bucket list in the same way that petting a grizzly bear or a wildcat is not real high on my bucket list either!

But you know—I’ll let you know if things change.

Underwater

To avoid Swimmer’s Itch, wipe off thoroughly when you get out of the water. To avoid E. Coli, don’t swim in the water when there are a lot of geese chillin’ on the shore. And to avoid Giardia, don’t drink dirty water and make sure your hands are clean when you cook! Enjoy what’s left of the summer! I certainly am!