I’ll admit to being sort of a hipster organic. That is, I eat mostly organic, but then I’ll cave in to the annual box of Thin Mints or delivery pizza or the soda that rhymes with repsie (See how I am always thinking about working out? This is why we get along so well.)
It all started with my hair stylist who has seen me through every diet revelation in the last ten years. “Have you tried quinoa and kale?” she asked. “Why no, I haven’t,” I replied. Right now you should be imagining a beauty salon with hair dryer sounds and people in various states of color processing and cutting. She went on to explain all the marvelous nutritional —of which, as it turns out, there are many.
To this point, my experience with kale had mostly been of the salad bar variety.
That is—during a brief waitressing stint, I used it to keep the salad bar looking pretty by carefully laying fresh pieces of kale over the packed, shaved ice that kept the salad fixings cold. I used to have daydreams of otters and sea lions eating it—or maybe that is kelp—yeah wait, it is. My dream was wrong all that time.
But I digress—according to my stylist, all I needed to do was create a simple concoction of quinoa and steamed kale and all my food woes would be solved forevermore by simply adding in a bit of soy sauce and maybe some garlic.
I hate cooking. Truth is, I use my kitchen island as another place to set my laptop—so the idea of a go-to meal is highly appealing to me.
My go-to meal generally tends to revert back to the forever-staple of-pure-healthy-and-magical-living—cereal. I try to eat good cereal, but my favorite is Lucky Charms.
Did you know magical thinking is, in general, a sign of very bad mental problems?
I went to Whole Foods that night and got my fixings. Luckily, I knew how to pronounce quinoa, which is not KIN-NO-AH, rather KIN-WAH. I once heard one of The Bachelors pronounce it wrong in an underground cave restaurant on national TV and I giggled for fifteen minutes in smug, know-it-all delight.
That night, I made a healthy meal of quinoa, vegetables and placed it before my husband—who is generally surprised when I cook anything.
I own aprons guys I had this.
I made a rather pretty presentation and used a placemat and everything! We don’t generally eat formally—and when we do we often don’t eat the same things. He took a few bites and pretended that it tasted good. He is a bad liar by the way. There is no way to suggest that it tasted even okay. It tasted bitter, like used coffee grounds—and no matter how I have tried to mix it up in later recipes, I still can’t seem to find a great way to fix kale.
But it gives me energy.
Here’s the thing; I feel great when I eat it. And Quinoa doesn’t give me that carb overload feeling that can come with some other grains. Plus, Quinoa is a great source of plant protein and works well in soups and a variety of other dishes.
Did I mention you should brush your teeth afterward and not make out with anyone for a while? Cuz that’s entirely true.
Since my initial kale disaster, I have developed a flimsy friendship with it, incorporating it into green juices with lemon, green apples, celery and cucumber, of which there are many similarly good recipes on the web.
I’d still like to find a way to eat kale raw or cooked in other, hopefully better tasting meals. I had another kale salad at a restaurant-that-shall-not-be-named the other day that was bland and uninspiring. A friend mentioned that kale tastes better if it’s a bit wilted. What do you guys think? If you have a great recipe or secret spice combo, by all means, feel free to share it in the comments.
Song Inspiration: Cults | Never Saw The Point
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